Ever since I can remember, my academic performances are always like I wanted them to be. Since kindergarten, to primary schools, to secondary school, I always received good result . Getting straight A’s in both UPSR and PMR put me at the top of the world, feeling superior than other people around me, when there’s nothing to be proud of, really.
As day passed by, I overlook the fact that Intelligent, Hard Work, and Tawakkal must come together to be a successful student/person. I depend solely on my intelligent which is, again, not at a level where I can be proud of it.
SPM. This is when things were going very tough, reality plays its role and like being *knocked by a hockey stick in the head, I felt from the stairs to success. But still, being dumb and stubborn as I am, I didn’t want to accept my mistakes and continue making more of them.
(* try knocking yourself with a hockey stick to experience the right feeling)
Finishing my foundation studies in PJ sooner than my roommates doesn’t help a thing. It just put me back on the top of my own imaginary world. The fake world where there is only nice weather, the sun was not too bright, the night was not too cold. As I enjoy my stay here, Allah reminds me with one ‘obstacle’. Again, I ignored my mistake but yet, He helps me jump over the ‘obstacle’.
But this time, I think, He make it very clear for me, either I wake up from my sleep and work harder, or continue falling down to the starting point. Being tested with these ‘3 obstacles’ is like being hit by the ladder after falling down, “Sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga” they said.
I am, at the point of no return, just realized my mistake, searching for right solutions not to fall for the same trap again, taking small steps, taking as few risks as possible, in the quest to improve myself, to be a better person, academically, spiritually, and mentally. After all, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Being lectured and advised by my parents and friends make me realize how stupid a person can be when it comes to accepting his own mistakes. “Don’t let this opportunity slips through your fingers, you will regret it later” – my Father, “You know what went wrong in your judgment. Don’t let it happen again” – my Mother, “It’s okay. We can handle this together, again” – Ijat, “You’re intelligent, but not serious and lazy”-anonymous person, "you can do it, you have the potential, maybe need some self-management" - Mhuno. These words really help me pull myself together and stop being depressed as it will not solve anything.
Some of you might not understand the real meaning and purpose of this post. Just assume it as a start for a young boy to become a better person, a better muslim, and a better man, before it is too late. Please, do pray for this boy, as you have known him in real life.
“O Allah, Please show us the right way, to seek for Your forgiveness, Your long-lasting love, Your redha in everything we do, Amin”
The End. Wassalam